An Introvert’s Manifesto

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

by Lee O’Connell

“When I am in my room alone and I write

Thoughts come easily, words come fluently then”

~ Sheldon Harnick

If you’re not familiar with 1960s back-catalog Broadway musicals (Really? Just me?), that quote is from the song “Will He Like Me?” from the musical She Loves Me. I consider it the introvert’s manifesto.

If you have seen the movies You’ve Got Mail with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, or The Shop Around the Corner with Jimmy Stewart, you know the plot of this show. Real-life foes fall in love through anonymous written correspondence and live happily ever after. In this song, Amalia, the female lead, agonizes over the prospect of meeting her pen-pal love interest in person. Everything is so perfect in the letters she writes, and so much could go wrong when the words have to come out of her mouth instead.

I encountered this song as a soprano musical theatre student building her repertoire. But I instantly connected with it. I’m also an introvert who can clearly lay out her thoughts when she writes, but struggles to get the thoughts swirling around in her brain to come out in coherent and comprehensive sentences.

Why is it so simple for me to think elaborately laid out thoughts, yet so challenging to translate them into speech? I can imagine entire conversations in my head (I used to do this in Spanish, too, when I was studying it). But when I have those conversations in real life, I am nowhere near as eloquent as I planned to be.

With so many of my inner thoughts trapped inside me, I often don’t realize how little of my interior reasoning or experience I communicate to the people in my life.

When I write, though, just as Amalia sings, thoughts come easily, and words come fluently. I can articulate topics, complex or simple, with passion and clarity. I feel like a much more functional human being than the awkward mess I seem to be when I speak, especially if I’m–gulp–put on the spot.

Whenever my husband and I have had a critical topic to discuss, I have written him a letter. I need to lay out my thoughts fully and clearly. Writing is the only way to be sure I do. The last time I did this was when we were debating whether to have a third child. My multi-page missive wasn’t the deciding factor, but it helped my husband better understand my yearning for one more baby.

Our third son is almost two now, and he is a delight.

Writing has served me well throughout my life. The heartfelt letter I wrote to our home’s previous owner convinced him to pick our bid. My carefully scripted speech at my sister’s wedding delighted so many guests that I missed the cake-cutting. I was swarmed by friends and family who wanted to compliment me on it.

My preference for the written word flows both ways. I would rather read an article than watch a video to learn about a topic. And I will pick a scripted show over reality TV every time. There’s something about the written word that clicks better with the neurons in my brain, even when it’s an input rather than an output. Maybe it’s the relative quietness. Or just a more organized presentation of thoughts and feelings that seems easier to process.

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I am a functioning human in social situations. I can get through interviews or answer the phone or whatever else and be, at most, mildly awkward. My social anxiety is entirely surmountable. I even used to be an actor. Multiple people told me that I never seemed more alive than when I was onstage. I think it’s partly because I was unburdened of having to find the words — someone had already written them for me.

I take some comfort in knowing that I’m not a complete freak. Many introverts prefer writing, says science. And throughout my new journey as a freelancer, I have found connection through writing in different corners of the internet. Will those people like me if we meet? I don’t know. But, unlike Amalia, I’m tempted to keep trying.

Lee is a freelance content and copywriter specializing in causes/nonprofits, parenting, and B2B. Committed to using words to make the world a bit better and parenting a bit easier. You can read some of her other posts at leeoconnell.com/blog.